Shattered

Tears of my sorrow

Slide down my face

I feel disoriented

I close my eyes

Hoping to cut out

From the world around me

So that I can reside to the

Inner world

A world inside of me

Which I have created

For myself

To protect myself

To heal myself

But I can’t heal

The cut is too deep

The pain too intense

So intense that I can taste

Taste the blood on my tongue

Feel the stab of pain

On my body

Feel the ache

The ghost of the ache

Still lurking under my skin

And suddenly the safe place

Is raided by memories

Memories I don’t want to relive

And not just the blows on my body

But the words, so powerful

That it broke the innocent dreams

I used to harbour in my heart

Those dreams which became

More than just dreams

And became a part of me

My life depended on it

And was my solitary friend

In my solitariness

Yes,

Those dreams were shattered

Ruthlessly

I cried, but no one heard me

No one cared

Forced into abandonment

I cloaked myself in illusions

Illusions of belonging to someone

Of being loved

Of being lovingly held

But the cuts are too deep

Deeper than I thought they were

Because my heart refuses

To mend

The cracks are still visible

And shows its fragility

Far too easily

It can’t hold any more hope

Of belonging to anyone

Than a broken vase

Can hold water

I can never be accepted the way I am

And I never will be

It will be abandoned again

And again

Thus

I don’t want to risk it

Ever again

I can’t risk it ever again

And thus I will keep my heart

Within myself

But somewhere

Deep down

In the abyss

Of my mind

And the broken heart

Miraculously

I feel the sting of hope

Telling me that I may not

Be correct at all

And I will one day

Find myself accepted

Content and safe