Shattered

Tears of my sorrow

Slide down my face

I feel disoriented

I close my eyes

Hoping to cut out

From the world around me

So that I can reside to the

Inner world

A world inside of me

Which I have created

For myself

To protect myself

To heal myself

But I can’t heal

The cut is too deep

The pain too intense

So intense that I can taste

Taste the blood on my tongue

Feel the stab of pain

On my body

Feel the ache

The ghost of the ache

Still lurking under my skin

And suddenly the safe place

Is raided by memories

Memories I don’t want to relive

And not just the blows on my body

But the words, so powerful

That it broke the innocent dreams

I used to harbour in my heart

Those dreams which became

More than just dreams

And became a part of me

My life depended on it

And was my solitary friend

In my solitariness

Yes,

Those dreams were shattered

Ruthlessly

I cried, but no one heard me

No one cared

Forced into abandonment

I cloaked myself in illusions

Illusions of belonging to someone

Of being loved

Of being lovingly held

But the cuts are too deep

Deeper than I thought they were

Because my heart refuses

To mend

The cracks are still visible

And shows its fragility

Far too easily

It can’t hold any more hope

Of belonging to anyone

Than a broken vase

Can hold water

I can never be accepted the way I am

And I never will be

It will be abandoned again

And again

Thus

I don’t want to risk it

Ever again

I can’t risk it ever again

And thus I will keep my heart

Within myself

But somewhere

Deep down

In the abyss

Of my mind

And the broken heart

Miraculously

I feel the sting of hope

Telling me that I may not

Be correct at all

And I will one day

Find myself accepted

Content and safe

I feel you

I feel you

Near me

Always

Happiness, sadness

Joy, anger

Laughter, tears

Failure, victory

You are with me

At every step

Your love

Is my constant strength

With you by my side

I can win the whole world

Without you

I feel hollow

Like dead soul

Alive yet not living

I never thought I can ever feel like this

But you changed me

I will always feel you near me

Even when you are not here

I will feel you near me

Holding me

Loving me

I have

Blue green and grey

I have seen

The ocean change its colour

With ever season

With the changing colour of the sky

I have seen

I have seen the wind

Caressing the ocean

Gently, lovingly

I have seen

I have heard the wind roar

And the tides crashing on the rocks

I  have heard

I have seen the rain fall

On the ocean

The drops quietly mingling

With the salty water

Surrounded by the music it creates

I have seen

I have seen the sky give the ocean

I have seen the ocean give the sky

And while I watch this

I realise

I am the ocean and you are my sky.

Till then…

I feel alone

Lost in the darkness

Helpless and scared

I want just

One ray of hope

To find my way out

Out of this horrible tunnel

Separated

From everyone

And everything

I fall down on my knees

Try to find my way with my hands

But all I feel

Is cemented earth

Hard and cold

I try to find the walls

But they seem impenetrable

I scream

I cry for help

But all I can hear

Is the echo

Of my despair

I want to give up

I want to lie down

I want  life

To take its own course

But something beacons to me

I can’t hear it

Or feel or see it

But I know I have to get up

And I move

Move ahead

Till I finally see it

I see the ray

My ray of hope

Which will, I know,

Take me out

Out into the world

Till then I will follow

The beam of moonlight

And bathe in its calmness

And hope.

I met Him

I met Him

On my way to the

Kingdom of cynicism

He stopped me

With one glance

And chided me

Over my decision

To proceed towards

The land of

Darkness and despondence

Where hope, care and love

Are precluded

Sadness, remorse and coldness

Are the constant companion

He told me

That I am not meant to

Travel to those lands

And to become the

Neighbour of forever jealousy

And crippling sorrow

He handed me

A small gift

And left

Telling me that

The choice will always be mine

And mine alone

And I will be responsible

For the kind of

Friend for life

I gather on my way

Watching it go away

I opened the gift

And found patience

My eyes blurred

I realised I can

Either throw it away

And continue with my journey

Or accept the gift

And turn around

Toward the earth

Where the gift

Will give me strength

To find the state of

Happiness and tears

Victory and failure

A land of unending hope

Kingdom of encompassing love

And to attain ultimate bliss

Of a life

Lived well and full

Oblivious of me

I love you

Worship you

Kiss the very ground

On which you walk

Yet

You don’t know me

Oblivious of my very existence

It hurts a lot

When you look

Right past me

As if I am a broken sheet of glass

Lying around

Waiting to be thrown into the bin

But it’s not your fault

I don’t want you discover me

Underneath the cloak I hide

You might be repulsed

At what you see

You’ll hate me

Because your eyes

Are covered by a film of arrogance

Due to your over-exposure to knowledge

You inhabit a world

Which does not exist on this earth

You and I shall never meet

As there is no common meeting ground

You shall never know me

As I will never reveal myself from underneath my safety cloak.

Another love song

Shades of the day

Shades of the night

Love changes everything

Everything in sight.

People seem happy

Flowers seem bright

And the clear blue sky seems to be

Dotted with vivid kites.

Love makes me sing

Love makes me dance

And it makes even these

Horrible few lines rhyme.